He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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