Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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