Can Purell be used as lube?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
