i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize