rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
