my phone needs a breathalizer
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
where am i from again
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
