I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
