you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
