I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize