Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
