Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
