All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize