i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
