he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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