Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
