I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
