i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
