When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
