I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It's shark week go big or go home
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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