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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??

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• (415): View more from California

  If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.

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• (619): View more from California

  He had a step stool to get in to his bed!

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.

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• (716): View more from New York

  She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!

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• (469): View more from Texas

  He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor

  (972): View more from Texas

  Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone

  (469): View more from Texas

  Noooo he’s listed as free food #5

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