About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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