She said her name was "party"
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
