I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
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