I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
