It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
