I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
you made out with another girl for some wings
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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