I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
you inspire me to be a worse person
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize