I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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