i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
