Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
