I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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