she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The power of my boobs compel you
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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