There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
