halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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