well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
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I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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