I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
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