you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
