Porn is love you can see.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
