Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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