i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
