He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
