Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
