Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
