hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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