i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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