Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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