what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm like, not good at living.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
