my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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