My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
