I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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