hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
