I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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