Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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