nutella sex= disaster
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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