Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
