Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
My feet surprised me
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
