i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
