Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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