just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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