a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
