I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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