It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize