Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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