I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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