TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
