Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
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Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
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i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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