I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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