i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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